Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
