Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
