would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
