Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
