Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
