Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
