Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
