A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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