no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
