How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
