why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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