there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
