she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
