i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize