Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
