Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
