I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
