a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
