I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
