I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
