I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
