you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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