Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize