I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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