we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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