hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
