Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
