So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
