Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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