In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize