I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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