He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
