C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
