i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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