All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
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