All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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