He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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