whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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