This dress was meant to end up on your floor
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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