do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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