I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
