What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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