went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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