Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I enjoy the company of your penis
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
