i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
