Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
