all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
