so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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