Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
i think my cat just said my name.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
