dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
