Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
