why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
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