Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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