i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
