I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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