Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
