i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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