Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
