no, he came in my armpit
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
