she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
