No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
