We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Hello my rib-scented angel!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
